Understanding Your Cat’s Love Language: A Kitty’s Point of View!
Humans, gather round – it’s nearly Valentine’s Day, which means you must all be tearing your hair out wondering what heartfelt messages to put in those love letters you’re writing me.
Now, don’t worry, I understand the struggle: how do you make your own love letter stand out among the hundreds – sorry, I meant thousands – I’ll be receiving? A haiku, perhaps?
Soft paws on my heart,
Silent love in slow-blink eyes –
You are my warm purr.
Pretty good, right? Well, I unfortunately can’t send love letters to myself (I’m not quite that vain), so I’m here to explain how you can say “I love you” in cat language for yourself. After all, while February may be the month of love, we cats have our own special way of showing it!
Sit back, my two-legged humans, and let’s take a look at all the signs a cat loves you – and how you can say it to us kitties in return.
How Do Cats Show Affection?
Truth be told, we cats don’t actually write whimsical haikus or dramatic love letters (a lack of opposable thumbs, you see). Instead, our affection is expressed through body language, behavior, and trust.
Understanding these signs not only helps you decode how cats show affection, but it also helps us cats feel safer and more connected to you. With that in mind, let’s begin with a look at the most common signs a cat loves you.
Slow Blinks
When I softly close and open my eyes at you, it’s one of the purest forms of cat love language, and it means I feel safe and at ease in your presence. You might simply call them “slow blinks”, but they’re my calm and deliberate way of showing affection – an air kiss, if you will.
In fact, why not try slow blinking back? It tells me you understand how cats show affection – and yes, we definitely notice!
Upright Tail
When I approach with my tail held high – with a gentle hook at the end, a lot like a question mark – I’m giving you a friendly greeting. It’s often one of the clearest early clues in recognizing if your cat loves you.
Headbutts & Cheek Rubs
Nothing says love like smushing your face into someone, right? Maybe not one for humans to try with other strangers, but when I headbutt or rub my cheeks against you, I’m actually doing something called bunting. This transfers my scent onto you, marking you as part of my trusted inner circle.
It’s one of the clearest signs a cat loves you… and an exclusive club to be in.
Following You Everywhere
If I follow you from room to room, don’t be alarmed – I’m not supervising you (much). I’m just intrigued by you: your activities, your world, and the strange two-legged things you get up to.
It may not always mean deep emotional attachment, but it does show I enjoy your company.
Sitting Near You (or On You)
Look, us cats are smart. We don’t waste our energy. If I choose to sit beside you, or on your lap, or even stretch across your keyboard, that means something.
I could be anywhere, but I choose to be in your space. That’s love – cat style.
Grooming You
If I lick your hand or hair, that’s a clear sign of a strong emotional connection. Cats only groom those they feel close to, and it’s our way of expressing trust and care.
Purring
We can’t talk about cat love languages without mentioning purring. Often, purring is my contented “I love being with you” signal. Just bear in mind that we sometimes purr when we’re stressed or unwell too.
If you hear purring while I:
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Sit on your lap
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Knead your legs
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Cuddle beside you
…then it’s probably a sign of affection! You lucky thing.
Rolling Over and Showing My Belly
When I roll onto my back and show my belly, it means I feel safe and playful. It does not mean I want belly rubs. You have been warned.
Do “Gifts” Really Mean Love? The Myths Behind Cat Love Language
Now then, we’ve covered a good selection of signs your cat loves you – but while we’re here, we should also address a popular myth. You’ve probably heard that cats bring prey home as a sign of love. The truth? Well, it’s complex, but it’s more instinct than it is affection.
We bring items – sometimes toys, sometimes less pleasant surprises (though who would say no to a deliciously dead mouse?) – to our safe spaces so we can either enjoy them in peace or come back to them later. It just happens to be that our safe spaces are also where our humans are. So, it’s not usually a cat’s show of affection one way or another – though it does indirectly show we feel safe around you!
All this being said, we cats are pretty clever. Some indoor cats will bring toys to our humans to solicit interactions – especially if we’ve been rewarded for doing this in the past. Anything to get a treat, right?
Strengthening Your Bond: Supporting Your Cat’s Unique Love Language
So that’s a little about my love language. But how about speaking it back? You’ll struggle to get these into a Valentine’s card, but here’s how to speak a cat’s love language in a way we’ll understand.
Observe & Respond
Every cat is unique. Some love lap cuddles; others prefer sleeping nearby. Respect our preferences, embrace the form of affection we offer, and don’t force us to do anything we don’t want to do.
When I come to you, the bond grows naturally – so let me choose the moment.
Create Positive Associations
Use a gentle voice and calm movements. Treats and playtime work wonders too.
If you’ve read any of my previous feline musings, you’ll know exactly what I’m going to say next: nothing beats Happy Snack by FELIWAY® for a perfect bonding moment! What can I say? It’s delicious (for cats, not humans).
Keep Routines Predictable
We feel safest when we know what to expect, and that means keeping to a routine. Consistency in feeding, playtime, and attention helps to reduce stress and improves our emotional well-being.
Support Us With FELIWAY®
If you want more harmony at home, FELIWAY® Optimum is great for creating a calm, reassuring environment. It supports emotional balance and helps us cats feel more secure – so we can express our affection naturally and in our own comfortable way.
Love, the Feline Way
Cats may not shower you with hugs or dramatic declarations, but we do show our affection in soft, meaningful ways. Understanding our cat love language helps nurture a deep, more connected relationship – so celebrate the moments we choose to share with you!
If you’d like to continue learning about how cats express themselves, or how you can strengthen your bond even more, keep exploring our other blogs online. You can also sign up to the FELIWAY® newsletter for more feline-friendly tips!
